The power of crying can really be felt when an infant cries. The sound of a baby crying is super irritating for some and downright painful for others. The sound can literally hurt your ears. For some of us, it also causes extreme anxiety. I absolutely hate when my child cries. And so begins our discussion of the power of crying.
When a baby cries
Some of it started with postpartum anxiety (PPA). Anything and everything that upset my child really set me off. Any child, actually. And boy did I create all sorts of horrifying scenarios in my mind of how my child may get hurt. Those of you with PPA can relate I’m sure.
To top it off, I also experienced trauma in my own childhood. It’s created all sorts of triggers for me, and crying is one of them.
And some of it comes from my background in child development. I learned about how the cry it out method causes an elevated stress response. The idea of contributing to an increase in stress for my child really doesn’t sit well with me.
So let’s discuss more on the power of crying and how it can get the best of us all.
The floodgates opened
The last week and a half has been hard. My toddler is popping two teeth and she went through a growth spurt. Sleep has been rough. Patience has been tested.
Like many toddlers go through, mine is on a teeth brushing strike. We had an especially rough morning and I became so completely overwhelmed I ultimately just sat on the floor against the wall and cried.
No, I mean I cried. Ugly cried.
Over brushing teeth?! My first thought was that I was overreacting. How could I have allowed brushing teeth to upset me this deeply?
Then the reality of it all hit me.
The power of crying
The reasons we cry are plentiful. We cry to express a variety of emotions, from sadness to anger, from excitement to overwhelm, from happiness to relief. And every single reason is perfectly valid no matter our age.
So why was I crying so hard? Well, it wasn’t because I was overreacting to a single teeth brushing incident. I was exhausted. I was overwhelmed. And I was frustrated. What’s more is I felt a lack of control. It all just boiled up and finally spilled over.
And you know what? I felt so much better when I had stopped crying. I’d let it all out and was able to move forward with the rest of my day in a more calm manner with my child.
This is likely for two powerful reasons:
- all of my big feelings were released
- our body is flooded with endorphins following a really big cry!
Children experience these BIG emotions too! Surely even more often than we do. At least we have a better understanding about what we’re experiencing and why.
But children don’t have the life experience we do. The don’t understand context. Or nuance. So children experience so many overwhelming moments. There is so much they have little to no control over. And, let’s face it. Us parents and caregivers can be rather frustrating for them.
This was a great reminder for me that it’s not only okay for my child to cry sometimes, it can be necessary to help her regulate her emotions just as it was for me. It’s an important piece of social-emotional development.
